By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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