THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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