I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
