maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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