question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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