Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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