Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
