hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
