Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm passing your future prison.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
