apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
