my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
