I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
