two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
