for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
