question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
