U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
