Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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