Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
