Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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