Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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