Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
