hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize