i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
