Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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