She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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