Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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