Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
