just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
