It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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