Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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