I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
