I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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