I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
