did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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