how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
These 27 Creepy People Did The Craziest Things To Prove Their Love
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.