Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
