Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
