Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
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We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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