Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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