I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
