Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
