Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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