I will die if light touches me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize