he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He shit in the fireplace
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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