i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
