I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Soap is not a condiment
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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