We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
