So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize