I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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