also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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