...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
