I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
