what day is it and did you see me today?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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