it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
