As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
