I hate all girls vehemently.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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