I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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