my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
BRING THE BAGELS
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
