If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
