Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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