It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
